Fun Carts

My kids LOVE “fun carts.” Fun carts are those horrible, awful, terrible, germ encompassed clearly-not-invented-by-a-parent-who-ever-had-to-push-one shopping carts with steering wheels. They beg for us to get one and many times they are just not available or are in such disrepair… looking like a broken down amusement park ride that you might see in a scrap metal yard. Whatever state we find them in they are the most fun and exciting thing to my kids and even though I know as I am putting them in there that there will be scrapping between them over someone touching the other’s steering wheel. I also know that I will  most definitely take out some poor unsuspecting person in another aisle merely trying to drive the thing (and because the cart extends to about 8ft in front of you it is almost a guarantee to hit someone or something).

The one thing that I have noticed though that makes these carts different from all others is control. I think that many times my kids think they are having some control over where the cart goes. Hayden is old enough to where he has pretended that he is driving a police car racing to help someone in need and I may or may not have helped by pushing it really fast (in open areas so as not to wipe out that family of 6 that opted out of the fun cart experience)and making siren noises. Emerie just loves to drive. My sweet in-charge, I AM the boss baby girl loves to drive and rarely takes her hands off the wheel except to give her brother a hug or tries to reach for something or decides to try to stand or…well you get the idea.

One thing is true for both of them…control. They both like to feel like they are in control and driving the fire engine cart. I got to thinking about that this morning. Don’t we all like to drive/be in control? Even the most timid of us like to be in control of something or everything. How about this...have you ever noticed that there is only one steering wheel in a car? Just as there is typically one pastor who is ultimately responsible for leading a church, there is one steering wheel in a car. Just imagine if we had more than one in a non-drivers ed type of car. We would be driving in circles!

But beyond that I was thinking about that crazy fun cart and how I am just like my kids in that cart or at least I should be!  I want to drive or at least think that I am and have some control over where I am going and what I am doing but the reality is….I am in the cart (or at least I need to be). When my kids are in the cart, they are safe, I am able to keep them under my care and protect them from many foes that lie within your fill- in- the- blank- big box store. I am able to decide where they need to go and whether or not this trip includes a trip past the bakery department for their free cookie. They can’t get out without my help. They often can’t reach for things that they may want to hold or inspect from the shelves unless I allow it.

Another benefit of being in the cart is the guidance and direction that comes from it. My kids don’t have to think about where the cart is going; they can just enjoy the ride. I don’t think that either of them has any idea that one should be required to have a CDL endorsement on their license in order to drive one. They just simply…ready for this? They trust the driver! WOW!

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not always so pleasant especially for Emerie who would rather be out exploring or Hayden who would much rather be helping me by grabbing things from the shelves. How often do we fuss to get out of the cart or get out of the cart only to realize that we were safer inside? That we simply need to just trust the “driver, “and our needs will be met and we will be safe. I admit it is very hard at times to stay inside of the cart and not get out to go after what I think I need. Sometimes I even get mad at the cart and the condition of it and think that there must be a better one out there somewhere and yet there isn’t.

I don’t know that I will ever love the literal “fun carts” like my kids do, but you know what? I LOVE the joy and excitement that I get the privilege, as their mom, to witness. It ALMOST makes it worth it to scour the parking lot and entry ways to find one and wipe it down with half a bottle of hand sanitizer and a package of baby wipes. Remember…stay in the cart, sit down, leave your seatbelt on but most importantly….trust the driver because He loves you with an almighty love!

 

Is it really almost 2013?

Yikes! We've had a whole other baby (#2) since I last posted anything. Our sweet baby girl came 6 weeks earlier than planned this past June & has done very well.

I also started a hat, accessories etc crochet business called Cutie Cakes Hats in November 2011...now it's making sense what happened to my blog...

It all started with a simple Facebook status...

A few days ago I did what so many people do...I vented, on Facebook. It wasn't about a relationship gone wrong or something a family member did to tick me off (that's lame and childish anyways). It was simply about my frustration about trying to find my little meatball a pair of shoes for his little feet, which seem to be growing at lightening speed lately!

And what I got back in return was unexpected. A friend emailed me a few shopping tips for our teeny town which is not the shopping metropolis that one might mistake it for HA! Then we caught up about life in and out of ministry. In just a couple of days we have exchanged emails that read more like a face to face conversation which I love and out of it came some huge, desperately needed reflections and encouragement.

This friend, forwarded me this devotional and something happened. It was like someone opened a window in the attic of my heart and started clearing away some of the cobwebs (I always thought that sounded nicer than spiderwebs).

It realized that I feel like our garden. It started out as a decent space and looked alright. We had great ideas about what to do with what would hopefully pop up through the dirt. Rather than robust vegetables we got weeds. Paul planted it and did a great job but over time the weeds grew up and choked everything out. Now it's hard to tell what we planted in the first place except for a few weathered and faded seed packets, that if I squint, I can still read them.

The little meatball and I walk out there around the side of the house where the "garden" is and all I see is weeds. I look at them and remember buying them and the thoughts I had about them but they are only memories. No real fruit or vegetables. Somehow time got away from me & other things became more important (& often more urgent) than weeding.

I look at the weeds and don't know where to start or what is critical to deal with because it all looks like a mess.Then I remember that God can do a lot with a little, even what seems to be a useless weed patch (which is how I feel at times).

Stuck

Have you ever been stuck?

In traffic?

A long line at Wal-Mart (who hasn't!)

In the mud?

A vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself?

I feel like I am there.

Stuck

Sometimes it's hard to figure out how to get out or even how you got there in the first place.

Sometimes you have been there so long that you can't remember how you got there in the first place.

I want to be content and I want OFF of this treadmill...I just need to do it.

Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

That's a hard one because in some respects I could make a long list and then there are those verses about God making me the way that I am and knowing me in my mother's womb. There are also verses about God using everything for good and knowing what is best for me so all of that makes me wonder what I SHOULD change about myself since He has made me just the way that I am apart from free will and all that...

But then there are my thoughts...

~ I wish I was thinner... (but I am 30lbs thinner than I was before having a baby).

~ I wish I looked different...(but my husband thinks I am beautiful & our son looks at me like there is no one he would rather stare at).

~ I wish I picked a different career/job... (but I wouldn't be able to spend the time that I do with our baby boy).

~ I wish I was more popular... (but then I might not notice the kids/people on the fringe that many popular people don't).

~ I wish all of the people I care about were within visiting distance without requiring a plane ride or long drive...( but then I might not be appreciative of the time I do get to spend with them & might not make our time more quality based).

So you see, I'm just not sure how to REALLY answer that question because I know in the end, God is working (VERY HARD- not due to His inability but my knuckle-headedness) to make me more like Jesus every day and that can't be a bad thing. I know that it doesn't mean that I get to kick back and do nothing. Instead I do need to realize that there are lots of things to work on but to remember why I want to change something before I go and grab the proverbial hammer and start tearing down the walls of my heart and mind. Although sometimes it seems like it could be a good idea....

Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.

A word-

myself

I find that if I would just do everything that I know that I ought to do, life would be so much simpler.

Not necessarily easier but simpler if that makes sense.

I fight against submitting to my husband even if it is only in my head.

I fight against H and his strong will

I fight against God and the Holy Spirit and what He tries to do in my life daily.

And all of this is exhausting.

I thought this was kind of funny!

Day 11. Post a recipe.

I would have to say most recently the recipe that I made (and have made many times before ) that was a hit was just simply Chicken Marsala. This isn't my EXACT recipe but it's close. I didn't feel like typing it out :)


Ingredients

4 ea Chicken half-breast, boneless & skinless
1/4 cup Flour
1/2 tsp Salt
Pepper to taste
1/2 tsp Oregano, dried
4 Tbsp Oil
4 Tbsp Butter (or margarine)
1 cup Fresh Mushrooms, sliced (or canned)
1/2 cup Marsala wine (chicken broth or cheap white wine also works)


Procedures


Pound chicken breasts between sheets of "Saran Wrap" until about 1/4" even-thickness
Combine flour, salt, pepper and oregano, blend
Dredge chicken pieces in the flour, shake off excess
Heat oil and butter in frying pan over medium heat.
Cook the breasts on medium heat for about two minutes on the first side, until lightly brown
Turn breasts over to second side to cook, add the mushrooms around the chicken breasts

The only difference is that I take the chicken out after it is done and put it aside. Sautee mushrooms and then mix in a can of cream of mushroom soup, add chicken back in to the mixture and simmer for about 10min.

Cook breasts about two more minutes, until lightly browned on the second side, stir the mushrooms
When lightly browned, add Marsala around the chicken pieces, cover and simmer for about ten minutes

I always serve with a side of whole wheat pasta-usually spaghetti.



Enjoy!

Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)

WOW! You know I looked at this question a few weeks ago when I should have been answering it and didn't and I would have answered it so differently then! There have been so many things going through my heart and mind lately. God has really been wooing me and calling me back to Him these past few weeks. I knew I had wandered but until recently never truly realized how far away I had gone.

As a Child of God...

I recently had a friend ask about Baptism of the Holy Spirit so the Husband and I studied that or rather he TAUGHT me about it (I am so blessed to have such and amazing, patient, and Godly man!).

One Sunday night we talked about submission in evening Bible study and that sparked a series of conversations at home about submission and I realized that even after all of the Bible college classes I still never really understood it. It is amazing how freeing it can be to truly understand something !

This week I have been working through bitterness, resentment and contentment. It is amazing how deep you can get into a funk! And how quickly! I have been learning a lot of things that aren't new necessarily, just things that didn't stick the last time I looked at them.

As a Mom...

I have been learning in real life lessons about how much of a 24/7 job it is. And about how even the worst moments are still the best. I have also been thinking about how even in those hard moments I know of three friends that would LOVE to trade places because their children never left the hospital and that is enough to shut up my whining, ungrateful, complaining heart!

As a Friend...

I have been learning that sometimes just being there is more than enough. Now that little H is in the picture I am learning just how important time is. I think that I always knew it. I have always tried to thank people for taking time or making time for me and my family. I have even thanked little kids for playing with me as weird as that seems. I have recently become so much more aware of how short life is. That choosing to spend 15min doing something is important because it really is 15min you won't get back so it is important to make each moment count especially with others.

Project 31: Days 8 & 9 .....

I'm just a LITTLE behind! In fact I think that the 31 days have passed,by now, since this project started. But what can I say? Life happens =)

Day 8. Have a beauty secret ? Share, please!

Not sure that I have a beauty secret...

I have always been told to drink lots of water...

Get lots of sleep but then....

There is this little person who fights against that.....

For now, I will just say that showering is about

the best beauty secret that I have!

Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?

Hmm.... that is sort of like telling you about how humble I am isn't it?

I like to think that I am a pretty good friend.

I am fiercely loyal.

I am a defender of those who often don't have a voice

that others will listen to...

I am a huge fan of justice & often fight for someone to get their "cookie."

I think that I am pretty thoughtful when it comes to

getting/giving things to others.

He's done it again!

Babies are pretty amazing.

They come out all new and fresh.

Everything is new for the first time.

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to see everything for the first time as if you were visiting from another time or planet.

I love to watch H play.

He has some pretty repetitive things that he does and sometimes not.

One of the repetitive things that he does is roll all around the living room.

A lot of times he plops over with a toy still in his hand and begins to roll.

He only gets so far because he never lets go of the toy.

Most of the time his right arm gets pinned behind him to the point where we think he will dislocate his shoulder.

(We figure if he doesn't figure out how to roll like "normal" people by kindgergarten then we will give him a tutorial.)

I got to thinking about it & ...

How often do we do the same thing?

We are trying to get somewhere and won't let go?

Something from the past or just simply (as the popular cliche goes) let go and let God. Because H doesn't let go of his toy it holds him back, keeps him from moving on to the next thing.

WOW!

Who said babies can't be educational? If ever there was a person, then they never met a baby!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys,

With tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God,

Because He was my friend.

But then instead of leaving Him,

In peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help,

With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,

"How could you be so slow?"

"(Name)," He said,

"What could I do? You never did let go."

 

I used to have a little card with this on it that I carried with me everywhere as a reminder. What an awesome reminder of how God wants to fix us and our toys!

ATTENTION ALL GIRLFRIENDS!

Day 7's task is to "Write a blog to encourage another

beautiful woman."

Well, many of you are beautiful to me in so many different ways.

I know it may sound like a cop out, but, I have seriously been thinking about this for days (hence the gap in between posts).

Many of you say just the right thing

(often times without even knowing it).

Many of you are there to calm new-parent-anxieties.

Many of you pray for me and my family.

Many of you are simply wonderful friends.

Most of you, due to geograhy, are too far away to hang out w/in person but I love to catch up in other ways.

(Please know that if I had a transporter I would visit you all!)

Many of you I miss often.

Many of you are super supportive and I wouldn't want anyone else in my corner

but you girls!

All of these things make you beautiful to me and I am sure to many others but you are not nearly as beautiful to me as you are to God and no one loves you more than Him.

And THAT, to me, is beautiful!!

Day 6: Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?

Dictionary.com defines jaded as: Tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something.

The world's definition of beauty has definitely jaded me! The Bible talks quite a bit about what beauty is especially when it comes to women and the funny thing is the world would list those things near the bottom if at all!

I googled various combinations of Bible + Beauty and do you know what came up? Oodles and oodles of Beauty Bibles on...well how to be beautiful basically! The Bible NEVER ever mentions beauty in the way that the world does which is sad, not that the Bible doesn't mention it but that the world doesn't "get it."

For example....

Proverbs 31:3

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

So based upon the dictionary.com definition of jaded and the verses listed above...there appears to be a bit of a conflict. I think that it is sad what women and young girls will do to themselves to be considered beautiful. Most times it is to become one particular person or group's definition of beauty and will change any time the "beholder" changes. I learned a long time ago that I can be cute and funny with no teeth and no hair should it ever come to that. I learned that from a roommate who made me feel inferior by the things she dad and said. She fit the world's definition of beautiful to a tee or whatever beautiful seemed to be back then...

Day 5: Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.

Like Mandy, I too would have to choose my husband and that is NOT A BAD THING!!!

Dear Paul,

The assignment is to write about someone that has made

my heart come alive.

It is hard to believe that we have only known each other for 5yrs.

It is  even harder to imagine life without you.

I appreciate so many things about you that it is hard to know

where to begin.

Lately, one of the things that I respect the most is your patience.

I know that you don't think that you are patient but you are

more than you know.

H and I appreciate the way that you love us and make us laugh.

You have brought so much fun and joy into my life that it would take forever to write it all out.

You have loved me for me as I am & at the same time cause me

to want to be better.

You make it easy to want to follow where you are going

(except in stores... you really need a turn signal!)

You have taught me more about God and what it is like to live and be a Christian than any given year in any Bible college class ever did!

You have taught me about love and loved me in ways that no one ever has and THAT has made my heart come alive.

Project 31...

So, I realize that I am a little late with starting this, but in my defense I JUST found it on my friend Kara's Blog. I have been wanting some sort of format to write within, at least for a little while, and this seems perfect. Feel free to jump on the caboose with me since I am a few days late getting started.... The information about project 31 and what it is can be found here.

 

 

THE LIST:

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?

Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?

Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?

Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.

Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.

Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?

Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.

Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!

Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?

Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)

Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).

Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.

Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!

Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.

Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.

Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.

Day 18. Describe your personality.

Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)

Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.

Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)

Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.

Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?

Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?

Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.

Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?

Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!

Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.

Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)

Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

I got stole the idea to do a top 10 of 2010 from my friend Julie who blogs over at The Church Girl. Although I think mine will be a "best of " list and I am going to fight against every fiber within me since it is my very nature to list them and assign numbers for organizational purposes...

~Paul & I got to head over to Hawaii for a 2nd time with his parents, sister and her family in February which was a nice last-time-as-a-family-of-2 get away!

~ Baby H arrived in May which of course was just about THE BIGGEST thing of the year!

~ We TRULY got to see God do amazing things through not only our church but the life of (at the time) our unborn little boy.

 ~ We saw God heal H of a few pretty profound issues before he was even born!!

~ We were able to meet some of the most amazing nurses, doctors and specialists at Children's Hospital in Seattle.

~ We became a family of 3. Technically, we became a family on May 6, 2006 but having H took it to a new level.

~ We welcomed my brother's new (and only to be clear) wife into the family in July.

~ We took a much needed trip home to NY to show off and introduce H to friends and family.

~ Our first Christmas together was great and like I mentioned before was extra special as a family of 3!

~ We've seen  God move and take care of us in new and different ways. Not new to Him, of course, but new to us, or at least me!

2011 brings us to our knees even more than before in many ways. We have many things that are up in the air right now that we are waiting on God's timing. There is little doubt that God will not provide because He always has in the most amazing ways. My prayer is that I can wait and hold back my hand from snatching my life back.

Lessons from a babe...

So here it is 2011. You know you are getting older when you were in the middle of starting your blog post and realized you needed your glasses & when you came back you have no idea where that line was headed! True story!!

This past Christmas was the best one that I can remember (second only to the year that Paul & I got engaged)! It was our first Christmas as a family of 3 (well 3 humans anyways!). I wasn't sure what to expect since H had just turned 7 months old on Christmas Eve but he seemed to have fun. He would tear at the wrapping paper & once he got the piece that he wanted he would look at us as if to ask permission to eat it or confirmation that what he had just done was OK. I have said it before (& I think the turn my blog has taken will make this evident) it is amazing how much you can learn about God from an infant/child!!

1. If only....if only we all looked at God when we did something to see if He approves or not. Of course it would be better if we ASKED God AHEAD of time, but, considering that doesn't always happen it sure would be nice if we looked to Him to see if what we did was OK or right each step of the way.

2. If only... if only we reached up to God the way a child does to their parent. In the past couple of weeks H has started putting his arms up to request to be picked up. I had been working with him a little on this very thing. (I am in no ways taking any of the credit for that because I think that he just figured it out.) When I walk over to him I ask him if he wants "up" & then when he raises his arms I would gently lift him up. I can only imagine how that feels to him to be rewarded with a warm embrace! Sometimes I wish we could feel that embrace from God in just as tangible/physical way!

Expectations

So....we had been talking about Christmas trees and whether or not to get a real one or a fake one, from where, when etc.

Last night Paul said he had to go back out and came home with a tree!!!

I finished getting H ready for bed and quickly but not too quickly went through our nighttime bed routine. Once he was asleep I went to help Paul bring the tree in....OK so I stood in front of the door with my fuzzy slippers and gloves that he gave me to put on. My job was to "guide the tree in so that it didn't knock anything over." I must have done a good job because everything including us and furniture was all still upright!  Once we got it set up he put the lights on (my least favorite job) and he unwrapped, unboxed and handed me the ornaments (his least favorite job). We got the tree all done and it was hard not to go and get H and bring him out to show him the tree...I resisted however, I think he knew there was something going on because he woke up shortly after we sat down to admire the tree. (clearly I am still re-arranging and need to continue to build up our ornament collection).

Christmas Tree 2010

I woke up this morning excited to bring H out and show him the tree and waited until Paul got the camera all ready to capture, either through still pictures or moving ones, the look of awe and excitement of seeing a brightly lit be-decked (I think that is a word...if not it sounds like a decorating word and I'm going with it) tree in the corner of our living room. I even made sure that neither one of us looked too crazy so that I didn't grimace in years to come of looking at said pictures. Then it happened.....

NOTHING

He looked at the tree a little bit and then he looked at Bella.....REALLY???

I get it that is only 6 1/2 months old but really? (I know he is capable! Look at that smile in the picture to the left!).That's all you're going to give us? I should have expected that though for 2 reasons.

1. Paul thought it might be fun to get him a jack in the box for Christmas. I told him that I saw one at Target. We found it and decided to show it to him to see what he would do. I turned the crank and we waited as the anticipation continued to build....then the lid flipped open and the jester-like clown popped out and....nothing. He looked at it then at us as if to say "Really? Did you really just bring me here for this?" Man this kid is one tough crowd!

2. It's my fault....

I do the same thing almost every time that God has something great for me, and I don't know this for sure but I can imagine, that God is excited to reveal it to me and then I look at that particular thing just like H looked at the tree and poor jack. He spent time waiting for me to "wake up the next morning" and then I look at it like it's no big deal.

OUCH!

I pray that I better remember to anticipate the surprise that God has waiting for me in the "morning" from now on! After all, just another day of life, breath in my lungs, good health and a day with my wonderful family is gift enough! I just have to remember to look at each day like I expected H to look at that tree....

God & Diaper Changes

I remember spending time with my friend Rashaun about 10 years ago (eeek- it HAS been that long) and she was talking about her daughter. She was talking about how having her has been a life of life lessons directly from God. I tucked that thought away into the "if and when I have kids someday" file and more or less forgot about it.



Fast forward 10 years and add a little person....



Boy if that isn't the truth!!! I was thinking during one of our middle of the night wrestling sessions changing sessions about how much MY relationship with Baby H can be like my relationship with God. I know, I know, why on earth would I be thinking such a semi-deep thought at 4am?!?! Anyways....I am in no way saying I am even sort of like God because he wouldn't be thinking things like "Seriously kid? It's a diaper change! Settle!"



I am, however, saying that I do the same thing that H does...God attempts to do something for my good and I fight and wrestle away...and it makes just about as much sense as H fighting me when I try to remove a poopy diaper!

FWD: You HAVE to see this....

If you are like 99.9% of the world you don’t like forwards. You see those three little letters in the subject line preceding the title F-W-D and you have a decision to make….delete or read. Is your decision based upon who it is from? I know a lot of times who it is from has a lot to do with what happens to that thoughtful poem or funny picture that I just HAVE to see.

Recently I received an email from my BFF. It was a forward about scars (I posted it below for those of you who may be interested.)

It got me to thinking about email and communicating with those we love and who love us. What if God emailed? Would that change my daily life? I mean sure, I pray, read my Bible, etc.... but if God sent me an email to-do list or a FWD that I just HAD to see would I read it?

The reality is, I own 15 + Bibles the last time I counted. They are different sizes, shapes, colors, themes and formats. I even have a Bible program on my iPod... Even though I have so many copies of God's emails right at my finger tips I still fail.

If I fail to read it...

If I fail to apply it...

And ultimately if I fail to live it...

The email below, from my friend, is a good reminder for all of us and will hopefully readjust the lens by which you view others as it did mine.

*****
SCARS OF LIFE

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in South Florida , a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house.

In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together.

In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.

Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late.

Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him.

From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go.

A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal.

And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter, who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, 'But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go.'

You and I can identify with that little boy.

We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go.

In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.

The Scriptures teach that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead.

The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack.
That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful.

He did not and will not ever let you go.

God has blessed you, so that you can be a blessing to others. You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through.

Never judge another person's scars, because you don't know how they got them. Also, it is so important that we are not selfish, to receive the blessings of these messages, without forwarding them to someone else.
Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them, and that you love them, too - enough to not let them go.

Waiting...

How much of our time in life is spent waiting?

We wait for the microwave...

We wait for the end of the day so that we can go home...

We wait for a loved one to arrive...

We wait.... we wait.... we wait....

Have you ever felt like you are holding your breath just waiting for something to happen? I always seem to have a list in my head and then I hear my grandma's voice in my head reminding me not to wish my life away. It is so easy to do when there is something exciting coming up or when we are in a difficult or uncomfortable season of our lives.

I remember before our son was born people would always ask if I was eager for him to arrive and I would always shock them when I would say "no." I would go on to explain that once he was here he was HERE and wanted to enjoy the last little bit of time as a family of 2 + one crazy dog.

To be honest, I wish I was more EAGER for Jesus to return. I almost envy (in a good and Biblically appropriate way) those who say they are eager and mean it. They talk about waiting for His return like it is THE #1 thing on that list in their heads and in most cases I am sure it is. I pray that I will get to that point. I am a Bible believing, God fearing wife of an amazing Godly man who is a pastor even ( supposedly we have special access to God according to most people and we aren't ever suppose to have spiritual lows that result in anything less than a hand written devotional book). And yet here I sit wondering where my eagerness went.

I'm pretty sure I know...I need to return to my first love.

Boy is that hard now that I 2 other loves here on earth...but with the grace that God gifts me with each day I hope and pray I am getting closer to that place.